I wasn’t surprised to feel nervous before surgery but I was surprised by how catastrophic my thoughts became. It felt sudden, intense and out of proportion. Until it made sense. If your system once learned that life can change in a second during something completely ordinary, it will start to treat risk everywhere. Not because you’re irrational - because your brain learned something once that it hasn’t quite unlearned yet. That realisation didn’t scare me. In fact it grounded me. It showed me exactly where some old trauma still lives. And sometimes, that’s all you need to decide what to do next. Despite being a psychologist specialising in trauma it caught me out. And it may be catching you out too. 💡Understanding changes everything. #emdr #traumahealing #traumarecovery #trauma #complextrauma

When you grow up in environments where your safety depends on who you appear to be, not who you actually are, the performance becomes automatic. You learn to read the room, anticipate needs, smooth the edges, stay agreeable, stay impressive. Your nervous system links belonging with pleasing, and safety with hiding the parts of you that were never welcomed. As an adult, being real isn't just "vulnerable" - it feels dangerous. Your amygdala interprets authenticity as a threat. The body remembers the moments where being yourself cost you connection, closeness, or peace. This is why so many high-functioning trauma survivors feel like they're "too much," "too emotional," or "too needy" when they stop performing and start showing up honestly. Therapy that targets the nervous system, like EMDR, helps the brain update those old patterns so that authenticity no longer feels threatening. Over time, your body learns that being yourself isn't a risk. If you want to know more about EMDR then book a free initial consult (link in bio). ⭐️ #trauma #traumahealing #traumarecovery #emdr #complextrauma