Hyper-independence is often seen as a strength, but in reality, it can be a trauma response rooted in our innate need to survive. When your boundaries have been repeatedly violated, or your caregivers and people you relied on let you down, your brain learns a painful lesson: “I can only trust myself.” This belief leads to hyper-independence and can create an armour you wear to protect yourself from further harm. From a psychological perspective, this is a response to trauma rooted in the brain’s survival mechanisms. The amygdala, your brain’s fear centre, activates to keep you safe by rejecting vulnerability and connection, which it now sees as threats. Over time, this can create a pattern where asking for help feels impossible, and emotional isolation becomes the norm. But here’s the good news: change is possible. Therapy helps you gently challenge these beliefs and create new neural pathways that allow you to feel safe accepting support. You can maintain your independence and learn to trust and rely on others again. You don’t have to navigate this journey alone. If this resonates with you, book a consultation today-I’m here to help you move from survival mode to living mode. ⭐️ comment CONSULTATION or DM for a link to book a free initial consult to talk about EMDR. ❤️ FOLLOW me for more evidence based tips on becoming empowered after trauma. #trauma #traumahealing #traumasurvivor #traumarecovery #complextrauma #cptsd #ptsd #healing #childhoodtrauma #childhoodtraumasurvivor #childhoodtraumahealing #childabusesurvivor #csasurvivor #sasurvivor #emdr #intensiveemdr #complextraumarecovery #hyperindependence

When I first started working with trauma clients I was really confused as to why they so often reported a poor day to day memory. The link between trauma and poor memory wasn’t taught on any of my training. But I soon realised it was so common for survivors to report difficulties with their memory. Research in 2022 found there are two different memory disturbances that can happen to trauma survivors: 1️⃣ Trauma can impact a person’s memory so that the event is difficult to recall or vital pieces of information are missing. Some people totally block out the trauma. For others the event is remembered intensely through flashbacks and nightmares. 2️⃣ A person’s day to day memory both short and long term can be significantly impacted. Survivors are more likely to experience increased forgetfulness and decreased working memory. 🧠 The hippocampus, amygdala and prefrontal cortex which are responsible for the stress response and memory can actually be physiologically altered by trauma. Hence creating issues with survivors memory. Trauma survivors may experience changes in their memory formation, memory recall, and working memory. So what can you do about it? 🍃 Grounding. Try to stay connected to your body and surroundings. l’ve got lots of posts on grounding so check them out! 😴 Stay on top of your sleep. Poor sleep contributes to memory issues. Try to have a consistent sleep schedule - the same bed and wake up times and no screens! 🏃‍♀️Stay active physically and mentally. Try to regularly exercise and use your brain by doing things like brain games - think puzzles, sudoku etc. 📝 Develop memory aids - things like notes, calendars and alarms can all be really helpful with memory issues. 🧘‍♂️ Don’t panic. Try to stay emotionally regulated through things like meditation and mindfulness. 💙 Trauma healing is possible and through trauma therapy you can decrease trauma symptoms including memory difficulties. So my first recommendation would be to seek professional support. Always make sure the person is regulated and qualified. And I’m biased but EMDR is my preference! ⭐️ comment CONSULTATION or DM to book a free initial consult to talk about EMDR.