People-pleasing doesn’t end when you walk into the therapy room. Many trauma survivors bring the same survival strategy into the therapeutic relationship: they try to stay agreeable, stay contained, stay likeable. You might avoid going too de
People-pleasing doesn’t end when you walk into the therapy room. Many trauma survivors bring the same survival strategy into the therapeutic relationship: they try to stay agreeable, stay contained, stay likeable. You might avoid going too deep because you don’t want to overwhelm your therapist. Or you might hold back because you think what you’ve been through isn’t “bad enough” to take up space. Either way, the outcome is the same: you censor the parts of you that most need to be seen. But therapy is not about being easy to sit with. It’s about being real — even when that feels like a risk. It’s about allowing yourself to feel that discomfort and work through it. Because you’re not responsible for other people’s emotions. If you’re still managing the space, protecting the therapist, or performing safety, it might be worth asking: Is this safety or is this survival? 📥 Download my free trauma & grounding guide (link in bio) #trauma #complextrauma #peoplepleasing #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasernomore
I did a post recently about adhd and trauma and then got some messages asking me to cover autism so I hope this helps! Is it trauma? Is it autism? Or is it both? The behaviours can look similar. But the why behind them matters. What’s the difference? 🍃Avoiding eye contact → Autism: sensory overload, difficulty processing visual social cues → Trauma: fear, shame, or learned hypervigilance 🍃 Rigid thinking or routines → Autism: predictability = regulation → Trauma: control = safety 🍃 Social anxiety → Autism: confusion around unspoken rules, social exhaustion → Trauma: fear of judgment, rejection, or past relational wounds 🍃 Struggling to name or feel emotions → Autism: alexithymia (difficulty identifying emotions) → Trauma: emotional numbing, dissociation, or shutdown 🍃 Masking → Autism: coping mechanism to appear ‘socially acceptable’ → Trauma: learned self-protection or people-pleasing 🍃 Sensory overwhelm → Autism: innate difference in sensory processing → Trauma: nervous system reactivity to perceived threat And sometimes, it’s both. Because trauma can mask autism — and autism can increase trauma vulnerability. 👉 Autistic people are more likely to experience trauma, especially interpersonal trauma like physical/se**al abuse, bullying, and social exclusion. 👉 Many go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed — and are left unsupported, misunderstood, or retraumatised by systems that only see one lens. That’s why it can be so hard to untangle. It’s also why it’s vital to work with someone who understands both trauma and neurodiversity — so you’re not mislabelled, overlooked, or treated in ways that don’t actually help. You don’t need a perfect label to begin healing. You need context. You need compassion. You need someone who sees the whole picture and can help you untangle what belongs to what. ❤️ HOT TIP: don’t be afraid to ask about your therapist’s credentials and experiences. It’s essential you see someone who understands neurodivergence and can adapt trauma therapy for your personal needs. 👉 Download my trauma & grounding guide via link in bio. #trauma #neurodivergence #autism #emdr #complextrauma
If your child finds it hard to open up to you, it’s rarely because they don’t have anything to say, it’s because they’ve learned it may not be safe to say it. Children don’t go quiet without reason. They withdraw when t
If your child finds it hard to open up to you, it’s rarely because they don’t have anything to say, it’s because they’ve learned it may not be safe to say it. Children don’t go quiet without reason. They withdraw when their emotional world isn’t met with curiosity, consistency, or care. Sometimes it’s subtle: a sigh, a sharp tone, a look of frustration. Sometimes it’s more obvious: invalidation, criticism, or dismissal. But the result is the same. The child learns to shut down. Not because they want distance… But because closeness stopped feeling safe. And if you’re a parent reading this with a heavy heart — this isn’t about blame. It’s about repair. Children are incredibly open to change when they sense genuine safety and connection. You don’t have to be perfect but you do have to be present. Small things can shift everything. Focus on: More listening. Less reacting. Repair after rupture. Curiosity instead of control. And if you were the child who stopped talking, who learned to carry everything quietly then know that you deserved more. You still do. It makes sense your voice feels far away sometimes. It’s not because you’re broken. It’s because your nervous system adapted to what it had. Therapy can help you find your voice again. It can help you give your inner child what they needed then. And for parents — it can help you understand your child’s silence as a signal, not a rejection. 💙 It’s never too late to reconnect and it’s never too late to feel safe. ⭐️ Has this been your experience? #childhoodtrauma #trauma #complextrauma #reparenting #emdr
People-pleasing doesn’t end when you walk into the therapy room. Many trauma survivors bring the same survival strategy into the therapeutic relationship: they try to stay agreeable, stay contained, stay likeable. You might avoid going too de
I did a post recently about adhd and trauma and then got some messages asking me to cover autism so I hope this helps! Is it trauma? Is it autism? Or is it both? The behaviours can look similar. But the why behind them matters. What’s the dif
If your child finds it hard to open up to you, it’s rarely because they don’t have anything to say, it’s because they’ve learned it may not be safe to say it. Children don’t go quiet without reason. They withdraw when t