In my clinical work, I often hear clients say “sorry” too much, for things that aren’t their fault, or that don’t even need an apology. When love or safety were inconsistent growing up, your nervous system adapted. You learne
In my clinical work, I often hear clients say “sorry” too much, for things that aren’t their fault, or that don’t even need an apology. When love or safety were inconsistent growing up, your nervous system adapted. You learned that connection could be withdrawn at any moment, so you tried to keep others happy by anticipating needs, taking responsibility, smoothing things over. It was a way to stay safe. With therapy and awareness, that pattern can soften. You can learn that love doesn’t have to be earned through over-apologising or over-functioning. Does this resonate? Have you noticed yourself saying sorry when you haven’t actually done anything wrong? #trauma #complextrauma #peoplepleaser #attachmenttrauma #relationaltrauma
If your body always feels braced - tight shoulders, clenched jaw, shallow breath, it might not be anxiety out of nowhere. It could be your nervous system doing exactly what it learned to do: to stay ready. When you grow up walking on eggshells, your
If your body always feels braced - tight shoulders, clenched jaw, shallow breath, it might not be anxiety out of nowhere. It could be your nervous system doing exactly what it learned to do: to stay ready. When you grow up walking on eggshells, your body learns that tension equals protection. You become hyper-aware of tone, expression and atmosphere because your safety depends on it. Over time, that vigilance can become your baseline. Your mind might know the danger has passed, but your body doesn’t always get that memo. That’s what trauma does. It lives in your physiology, not logic. Healing isn’t about forcing yourself to relax. It’s about helping your body slowly relearn safety through co-regulation, grounding, and experiences that show your nervous system it can finally exhale. 💙 Download my freebie to find ways to start the healing process (link in bio). #trauma #complextrauma #hypervigilance #traumahealing #traumarecovery
In my clinical work, I talk about boundaries most days. Because after trauma, so many people struggle with setting their own boundaries or stating their needs. When early relationships taught you that love required compliance, your nervous system le
In my clinical work, I talk about boundaries most days. Because after trauma, so many people struggle with setting their own boundaries or stating their needs. When early relationships taught you that love required compliance, your nervous system learned that saying no was dangerous. Boundaries can then trigger threat physiology, not because you’re doing something wrong, but because your body still associates limits with loss, conflict, or rejection. Learning to set boundaries is a form of nervous system regulation. It’s how the body begins to experience safety and connection at the same time. Here are a few things to try: 💫 Notice where you feel overstimulated or resentful because that’s often where a boundary is needed. 💫 Practise small boundaries first (ending a call, saying you’ll respond later). The goal is tolerating safety, not perfection. 💫 Remind yourself: boundaries don’t end relationships, they keep them safe. Healing involves teaching the body that it’s possible to stay connected without losing stability. I’d love to know - how does boundary setting feel for you? #boundaries #boundarysetting #boundariesarehealthy #trauma #traumahealing
In my clinical work, I often hear clients say “sorry” too much, for things that aren’t their fault, or that don’t even need an apology. When love or safety were inconsistent growing up, your nervous system adapted. You learne If your body always feels braced - tight shoulders, clenched jaw, shallow breath, it might not be anxiety out of nowhere. It could be your nervous system doing exactly what it learned to do: to stay ready. When you grow up walking on eggshells, your In my clinical work, I talk about boundaries most days. Because after trauma, so many people struggle with setting their own boundaries or stating their needs. When early relationships taught you that love required compliance, your nervous system le